This piece is a zine that tells the prologue of a personal story project I’ve been developing since the start of the school year. There are several different themes presented throughout the work that culminate in representing experiences with narcissistic abuse, as well as the psyche of a victim how they cope with it. The first major component of the story’s meaning is the representation of how abuse can affect a victims behavior, especially in a case where there is an inherent power imbalance between the individuals like a child and their caregiver. The zine portrays a common reaction to an abusive situation, in which the protagonist blames herself for her uncles outburst, feeling inadequate, but no matter how hard she tries to adapt and find normalcy, she appears to never be good enough for her uncles approval. Another part of the story that lends to the meaning is the illusion of choice in the face of ethical and emotional coercion. The protagonists’ uncle leverages the ethics of sacrificing herself to save the world from a pandemic, and manipulates her with the promise of the approval she’s been so desperately seeking. Next, I attempted to explore the limits of resilience and the cost of maintaining hope, given the narrative starts with a reflection on the usefulness of positivity. This is revisited throughout the story, questioning whether the protagonists optimism is a coping mechanism, a delusion, or even both, the delusion serving as a coping mechanism within itself. Finally, I included the theme of altruism and self sacrifice for the sake of getting validation rather than helping others. The protagonists decision to participate in vaccine trials, rather than being fueled by wanting to help people, is deeply rooted in a desire to feel needed and valuable to others. I’m aware that the story is a little open ended, through this prologue I only intended to set the groundwork for further development of this story.
For this piece, I wanted to dedicate the purpose to pushing slightly out of my comfort zone in art, but not so much to the point where I get stuck and don’t finish the assignment. To do this I decided to experiment with using more implied lines rather than actual lines, though I did use some lines for highlights at the end. For the most part though, I wanted to use lots of value and lighting to show the form of the cave and the outside rather than lines. I also wanted to experiment with water and reflectiveness. I tried to make the pathway in appear like it had a wet floor.
Zine Project-Cliffnotes about my zine prologue piece as well as future plans for it